VATICAN CITY — Even though Pope Francis has repeatedly pledged to root for no one nation and Switzerland has historically held a stance of armed neutrality, those pacifist days may be over.
Pope Francis has reportedly declared, “It’s going to be war!” to his own defenders — the Swiss Guard — ahead of today’s World Cup match: Argentina vs. Switzerland.
The French news service, IMedia, reported that the pope was telling the very men who have vowed to sacrifice their own lives to protect him that it was war. All in jest obviously, and a fun indicator the pontiff will be keeping his eyes and ears open for the final score.
IMedia also reported that the guards invited the pope to come by their barracks tonight to watch the game on their big-screen setup, complete with artificial turf. The pope was said to have replied that “unfortunately” he couldn’t make it.
The last time the two countries faced off at a World Cup game was in 1966 with Argentina taking away a 2-0 win.
The pope’s home nation is favored 2-to-1 to win this knockout round and make it on to the quarterfinals. So it’s unlikely we’ll see a disgruntled pontiff like the one below roaming the corridors of his residence:
THIS JUST IN: Just heard from the Swiss Guard media point-man that while “no special party” has been organized for tonight, guards who are off-duty “will for sure enjoy a cold beer…”